Transformers' Hype

I really cannot understand why a lot of people are so all excited about this movie. I haven't gotten around to seeing it yet but I've heard about it. Even my best friends has gone gaga over it. Well, maybe, I'm gonna have to watch it tomorrow to see for myself.

Perhaps I don't understand this the same way that some people are not looking forward to the penultimate Harry Potter movie this coming July. Well, that one I am soooo excited to see.

On - Off

They say life is a journey but just recently I witnessed one of the shortest journeys I've ever seen. Seventeen days. That was how long MJ lasted in this world. He was conceived with an abnormality where his intestines are outside. I don't know the exact medical term for that but upon being born he was subjected to several operations. He also had 4 heart attacks and then his organs failed one by one until he died of E. coli.

With technology the baby's life was prolonged but it was an infection that eventually got him. I really wouldn't be surprised given that his body was all weak from the major operations he had. Now he is resting in peace.

My condolences to the mother and father who are very close friends of mine.

think thank - tic tac

Time is running out for me and I have to think of a thesis topic by next month, review for my language exam and come up with a problem sheet (eventually a proposal) in one month's time. I need all the concentration, energy and focus I could muster and do all those things.

So far I've established my field- sociolinguistics. That is where I will get my topic. As to what I have no idea yet. As long as it is about language and society, maybe throw in sex and gender and power play, it is gonna work for me.

As to my language exam in Spanish I haven't reviewed anything yet. Sure I could understand basic Spanish but this calls for at least intermediate level.

I have to do everything by July so that I will have time to write my proposal draft. Urgh. Such is the beauty of a master's degree but I'm still looking forward to earning my Ph.D.

Random Thoughts

This are some of the things that came to mind lately:

1. No matter what happens, my outlook has an impact on how things will eventually work out. For the past two months I'd been pessimistic and I did fail in my goals for April and May. Now, I have a more or less positive frame of mind and things are working out just fine. I see more positive events in the next few months, even a promotion before the end of the year.

2. Lovelife is not necessary at this point but has been bugging me lately. Needless to say, it is consuming a lot of mind space which should be slotted for thinking of my MA thesis topic.

3. I had been presented with a lot of opportunities to change my life but I've hindered myself by thinking about things too much. Sometimes I just need a little spontaneity; a little careless act, perhaps.

4. I had been meaning to exercise but has not gotten around it yet. Well, there is nothing new about that but now, given that I am not taking any subjects anymore a round in the academic oval is not a far-fetched idea anymore. Maybe I should really move to KNL.

5. I wanted to move to a cheaper apartment or probably bedspace since I am planning to buy a house in the next few months. I have to save for my deposit and monthly amortizations.

Left Behind

I just learned today that a friend of mine from work got promoted. I am happy for her given that I was the one who wrote her recommendation letter (ghost writer, her supervisor who was so lazy to make a recom letter just initialed it).

On one hand though, I feel left behind. I had been with the company for more than 2 years and has only been part of a specialized team but has never been promoted yet. I need to move up the corporate ladder and this better be soon.

I will make sure my metrics are excellent and I will be promoted before the year ends. I will NOT be left behind.

Mt. Samat Experience

I'd been wanting to travel (backpack specifically), the Philippines and last week I had a taste of it. I went to Bataan Saturday afternoon. I then went to find a cheap apartelle and then stayed there for a night. I woke up early the next morning (I found out later I did not wake up early enough) and I commissioned a tricycle to take me to Mt. Samat.

Guess what, I walked the 7 kilometer-road to Mt. Samat and given my poor health, I took almost 3 hours to climb the mountain as I had to rest every so often. Because my decision to walk up the mountain was an on-the-spot decision I did not have anything with me except a 500 ml bottle of mineral water and 3 bars of KitKat.

I thought I was not going to make it but I did! It was exhilarating! When I finally reached the top I felt so healthy and all peppy. I paid the P 20 entrance fee and then went up the site where the cross is. I thought there were stores there that sell decent food (I was mighty starving!) but no. They were selling chips and chicharon so I had to make do with those. I also replenished my dehydrated body with lots and lots of water.

I went up the cross and viewed the beautiful landscape of Bataan from the top. I intended to stay there for a couple of hours but they had to close during the lunch break so I went down and took a nap in one of the benches downstairs.

After a few hours I decided to go home. This time I rode one of the habal-habals for a fee of P 50.

I ate proper lunch and then went to the terminal around 4. By six I was already in Quezon City. I found it very refreshing and I felt good about myself, too because in a span of 24 hours and with P 1000 only I was able to do something I've never done before.

Just Got Dumped

Well, I do not have to give it up anymore. She just dumped me and it hurts like hell. She told me not to communicate with her and all the more I feel the pain.

I guess I just have to keep on writing to at least ease the pain.

Perhaps I Should Just Give Up

After a long time of not writing, I suddenly have this urge to write because of a blog I saw. My "girl friend" created a blog here in Blogspot and I saw it. There she detailed how she loves this other guy who does not love her at all. So I guess that is the reason why fro 4 days now, she has not been in contact with men. No emails, no texts nor call, and no IM messages.

I feel frustrated and down. I feel like my world is tumbling over but what can I do? We are all bound this thing called LOVE and there is very little we can do once our emotions take over.

I love her. I love RSK. She makes me feel special and yet she is in love with someone else. All I can do is to back off and let her be happy with the man she loves.

I wish you luck RSK. If and when possible, I still look forward to marrying you in 2020 as we agreen on. I love you very much.

Masayang Simbang Gabi

I was going to work today and there were a lot of people near St. Peter's Church. And then it dawned upon me-Simbang Gabi.

Simbang Gabi means that it is the last few days before Christmas. For nine days, churchgoers, go to church (obviously) before daybreak and celebrate mass.

This means, for me, a time to eat my favorite bibingka. I am not a Catholic, so I do not go to mass but I always buy bibingka. I am looking forward to more bibingka days because of Simbang Gabi.

Blogging makes me free

What I like about blogging is that I am anonymous. I can say whatever I like to say and no one can police me.

I am free from all the corporate, academic and religious limitations. All my repressed urges can and would be expressed in a blog. I sure do have a blog where everyone who knows me can see but that's pretty limiting. I can't really talk about my latent feeling in the innermost recesses of my mind and heart.

I hope to be able to post more to this. :-)

PAL (forever delayed)

I went on a vacation to a province and guess what, PAL Express did not live up to its byline of being an "express" airline.

First, my flight was schedule for 12nn and it was "re-scheduled" for 3:00pm. That was my outgoing flight. My incoming flight was altogether canceled due to aircraft situation and sunset limitations, which simply translates to one fact, no aircraft is available.

I went on vacation to refresh myself of all the stresses in my life and I still got stressed. Well, such is life.

Early Christmas Gifts

Christmas is just around the corner and I already received what I consider as early Christmas gifts.

First, Obama won as POTUS and really that is history for the US. I never have liked Americans but their lowly reputation just upped one notch. Though Obama is against outsourcing (I work in a call center), I still believe that he brings a certain promise of change to the US. I just hope that he delivers.

The second gift is I got normal results for my stress test. I have fatty liver and bronchial asthma but at least I have a good, pumping heart.

Way to go!

I need to lose weight!

I am ten kilos overweight and thus am obese. I have fatty liver, high levels of SGPT, SGOT, triglycerides and bad cholesterol. If I continue to be like this and do not lose weight in the next few months, my liver will continue to deteriorate and who knows what would happen. I do not even wish to think about it.

I had been meaning to exercise for a long time now but no, I always postpone. Now my body is making the decision for me. Exercise or die. Exercise or you slowly lose control of your body function and metabolism.

Tomorrow, I will jog around my place. I will start with just minor cardiovascular exercises to make me burn the excess fat. Next, I will focus on losing fat around my belly. Whew, that's a lot of work to do but I have to do it.

I just need to lose weight, to make myself fit. I still have a lot of things to do and dying now is not--and I pray for it--not, an option.

Self-Betrayal

My body is betraying itself. I just learned today that I have a liver-related condition which could later on lead to liver failure.

I feel burdened, fatigued at the idea that someday my liver will fail me and kill me. I had always been unhealthy and have all sorts of congenital and auto-immune diseases but I guess I have to expect more.

I just hope that things don't go out of hand. I don't want to die.

Pauline: Dawning Upon Me

Hmm. It's always the same. For a while I will feel euphoric, so high and so happy. And that is even if I don't get to meet her, to know her. I will feel like I am as light as the feather in the air. But know what? I will again realize it's a futile exercise. That it is poison. That it is only after all infatuation and with that realization comes a crushing weight on my shoulders. Besides, women are all the same. They will go for your looks in the same way that men do. I got none of that. I have no part, therefore in this love chasing thing. I cannot and should not fall in love because romantic love is not meant for the ugly, the short, the pimply. It is only meant for those people who are beautiful.

I may be charming, intelligent and kind but who goes for those qualities anyway? A few of us perhaps. Statistically speaking, it will be hard to meet someone like that. Romantic love is just a figment of my/our imagination. It is more of an evolutionary strategy than anything. You fall "in love" with someone who could assure you that your lineage will continue on to the next generation. Not only will they continue, they will be a good breed as well since you will marry a handsome husband.

Finals Week

Finals week, hell week, whatever you call it, this is what I am going through. I am just taking 6 units this semester and it seems like I am taking 15 or 18 units. I have 2 term papers, 2 exams and a lot of mini-papers to finish before the semester ends. Whew. Being a working student is really hard but I have to go through all this or I'll have a bleak future.

Nursing Matters

I admit that the title is not that appealing but I like the ambiguity it presents. Nursing modifies matters which means that we will talk about matters relating to nursing which will bring about the major point in this article with matters as a verb—yes, nursing matters. (???, read again, you will understand what I am trying to say here.)

I am trained in linguistics and what do I care about this field of nursing? Anyway a lot has been said, done and undone about this issue. But I wish to contribute something based on what I know and based on my experience in this particular area.

I read in the Inquirer an appeal from the Commission on Audit to close sub-standard nursing programs in schools that are not performing well in the board exams which all turns out to be a bored exam. I tend to agree with that admonition and CHED should look into it.

There are a lot of nursing schools whose passing rate is below 75. It was I think Jaime Galvez-Tan who called these schools downright mediocre to trash schools. I am not in any way condemning the schools themselves but if they could not compete along with other schools who are performing well, they deserve to be shut down.

I used to teach in a school in Region 5 and their average passing rate for the past years has been a lousy 28% and it is for them already an accomplishment. Well, looking at other schools with a 3% passing rate, yes, that is already an accomplishment.

The point is, we cannot compromise the standard of education just to be able to produce more nurses. Quality matters over quantity.

Motivations for working

My supervisor recently did a pep talk on us regarding our motivations for working. He noticed that morale in the team is running low and statistics are dipping at an alarming rate and so he had to take some action. He brought us all together in one huddle room and discussed the current trends in our team.

He told us basically how the team is faring as opposed to the other 50 teams in the site. We are in the lower quartile now and that is very embarrassing considering that just last year, we were at the top ten. He said that he was so sad about it and that we should do something to keep our stats up.

He then asked us to think about our motivations for going to work. He did not ask us to voice it out, we just have to think about it and focus on it while we are doing our jobs to keep us in focus. And I thought of several motivations.

First, I need to earn money. I have a lot of plans in life, plans that without the necessary funds would remain a dream and I intend to make these dreams (of getting a Ph.D./MD, having my own business, house, etc) a reality.

Second, I need to prove myself. I have always been looking up at people who are now more successful than I am and I strive to do my best to get to a certain level where I could tell myself with pride and satisfaction that I am successful in my chosen career. That could only be realized with one of the most compelling motivations for me—that of being promoted.

Third, of course is that I want to be promoted before this year ends. Being an agent all your life makes life so uninteresting. Having variety on the other hand, adds spice to both my personal and work life.

I just hope that I can cope with everything and that my motivations will keep me going.