Perhaps I Should Just Give Up

After a long time of not writing, I suddenly have this urge to write because of a blog I saw. My "girl friend" created a blog here in Blogspot and I saw it. There she detailed how she loves this other guy who does not love her at all. So I guess that is the reason why fro 4 days now, she has not been in contact with men. No emails, no texts nor call, and no IM messages.

I feel frustrated and down. I feel like my world is tumbling over but what can I do? We are all bound this thing called LOVE and there is very little we can do once our emotions take over.

I love her. I love RSK. She makes me feel special and yet she is in love with someone else. All I can do is to back off and let her be happy with the man she loves.

I wish you luck RSK. If and when possible, I still look forward to marrying you in 2020 as we agreen on. I love you very much.

Masayang Simbang Gabi

I was going to work today and there were a lot of people near St. Peter's Church. And then it dawned upon me-Simbang Gabi.

Simbang Gabi means that it is the last few days before Christmas. For nine days, churchgoers, go to church (obviously) before daybreak and celebrate mass.

This means, for me, a time to eat my favorite bibingka. I am not a Catholic, so I do not go to mass but I always buy bibingka. I am looking forward to more bibingka days because of Simbang Gabi.

Blogging makes me free

What I like about blogging is that I am anonymous. I can say whatever I like to say and no one can police me.

I am free from all the corporate, academic and religious limitations. All my repressed urges can and would be expressed in a blog. I sure do have a blog where everyone who knows me can see but that's pretty limiting. I can't really talk about my latent feeling in the innermost recesses of my mind and heart.

I hope to be able to post more to this. :-)

PAL (forever delayed)

I went on a vacation to a province and guess what, PAL Express did not live up to its byline of being an "express" airline.

First, my flight was schedule for 12nn and it was "re-scheduled" for 3:00pm. That was my outgoing flight. My incoming flight was altogether canceled due to aircraft situation and sunset limitations, which simply translates to one fact, no aircraft is available.

I went on vacation to refresh myself of all the stresses in my life and I still got stressed. Well, such is life.

Early Christmas Gifts

Christmas is just around the corner and I already received what I consider as early Christmas gifts.

First, Obama won as POTUS and really that is history for the US. I never have liked Americans but their lowly reputation just upped one notch. Though Obama is against outsourcing (I work in a call center), I still believe that he brings a certain promise of change to the US. I just hope that he delivers.

The second gift is I got normal results for my stress test. I have fatty liver and bronchial asthma but at least I have a good, pumping heart.

Way to go!

I need to lose weight!

I am ten kilos overweight and thus am obese. I have fatty liver, high levels of SGPT, SGOT, triglycerides and bad cholesterol. If I continue to be like this and do not lose weight in the next few months, my liver will continue to deteriorate and who knows what would happen. I do not even wish to think about it.

I had been meaning to exercise for a long time now but no, I always postpone. Now my body is making the decision for me. Exercise or die. Exercise or you slowly lose control of your body function and metabolism.

Tomorrow, I will jog around my place. I will start with just minor cardiovascular exercises to make me burn the excess fat. Next, I will focus on losing fat around my belly. Whew, that's a lot of work to do but I have to do it.

I just need to lose weight, to make myself fit. I still have a lot of things to do and dying now is not--and I pray for it--not, an option.

Self-Betrayal

My body is betraying itself. I just learned today that I have a liver-related condition which could later on lead to liver failure.

I feel burdened, fatigued at the idea that someday my liver will fail me and kill me. I had always been unhealthy and have all sorts of congenital and auto-immune diseases but I guess I have to expect more.

I just hope that things don't go out of hand. I don't want to die.