Masayang Simbang Gabi

I was going to work today and there were a lot of people near St. Peter's Church. And then it dawned upon me-Simbang Gabi.

Simbang Gabi means that it is the last few days before Christmas. For nine days, churchgoers, go to church (obviously) before daybreak and celebrate mass.

This means, for me, a time to eat my favorite bibingka. I am not a Catholic, so I do not go to mass but I always buy bibingka. I am looking forward to more bibingka days because of Simbang Gabi.

Blogging makes me free

What I like about blogging is that I am anonymous. I can say whatever I like to say and no one can police me.

I am free from all the corporate, academic and religious limitations. All my repressed urges can and would be expressed in a blog. I sure do have a blog where everyone who knows me can see but that's pretty limiting. I can't really talk about my latent feeling in the innermost recesses of my mind and heart.

I hope to be able to post more to this. :-)

PAL (forever delayed)

I went on a vacation to a province and guess what, PAL Express did not live up to its byline of being an "express" airline.

First, my flight was schedule for 12nn and it was "re-scheduled" for 3:00pm. That was my outgoing flight. My incoming flight was altogether canceled due to aircraft situation and sunset limitations, which simply translates to one fact, no aircraft is available.

I went on vacation to refresh myself of all the stresses in my life and I still got stressed. Well, such is life.

Early Christmas Gifts

Christmas is just around the corner and I already received what I consider as early Christmas gifts.

First, Obama won as POTUS and really that is history for the US. I never have liked Americans but their lowly reputation just upped one notch. Though Obama is against outsourcing (I work in a call center), I still believe that he brings a certain promise of change to the US. I just hope that he delivers.

The second gift is I got normal results for my stress test. I have fatty liver and bronchial asthma but at least I have a good, pumping heart.

Way to go!

I need to lose weight!

I am ten kilos overweight and thus am obese. I have fatty liver, high levels of SGPT, SGOT, triglycerides and bad cholesterol. If I continue to be like this and do not lose weight in the next few months, my liver will continue to deteriorate and who knows what would happen. I do not even wish to think about it.

I had been meaning to exercise for a long time now but no, I always postpone. Now my body is making the decision for me. Exercise or die. Exercise or you slowly lose control of your body function and metabolism.

Tomorrow, I will jog around my place. I will start with just minor cardiovascular exercises to make me burn the excess fat. Next, I will focus on losing fat around my belly. Whew, that's a lot of work to do but I have to do it.

I just need to lose weight, to make myself fit. I still have a lot of things to do and dying now is not--and I pray for it--not, an option.

Self-Betrayal

My body is betraying itself. I just learned today that I have a liver-related condition which could later on lead to liver failure.

I feel burdened, fatigued at the idea that someday my liver will fail me and kill me. I had always been unhealthy and have all sorts of congenital and auto-immune diseases but I guess I have to expect more.

I just hope that things don't go out of hand. I don't want to die.

Pauline: Dawning Upon Me

Hmm. It's always the same. For a while I will feel euphoric, so high and so happy. And that is even if I don't get to meet her, to know her. I will feel like I am as light as the feather in the air. But know what? I will again realize it's a futile exercise. That it is poison. That it is only after all infatuation and with that realization comes a crushing weight on my shoulders. Besides, women are all the same. They will go for your looks in the same way that men do. I got none of that. I have no part, therefore in this love chasing thing. I cannot and should not fall in love because romantic love is not meant for the ugly, the short, the pimply. It is only meant for those people who are beautiful.

I may be charming, intelligent and kind but who goes for those qualities anyway? A few of us perhaps. Statistically speaking, it will be hard to meet someone like that. Romantic love is just a figment of my/our imagination. It is more of an evolutionary strategy than anything. You fall "in love" with someone who could assure you that your lineage will continue on to the next generation. Not only will they continue, they will be a good breed as well since you will marry a handsome husband.

Finals Week

Finals week, hell week, whatever you call it, this is what I am going through. I am just taking 6 units this semester and it seems like I am taking 15 or 18 units. I have 2 term papers, 2 exams and a lot of mini-papers to finish before the semester ends. Whew. Being a working student is really hard but I have to go through all this or I'll have a bleak future.

Nursing Matters

I admit that the title is not that appealing but I like the ambiguity it presents. Nursing modifies matters which means that we will talk about matters relating to nursing which will bring about the major point in this article with matters as a verb—yes, nursing matters. (???, read again, you will understand what I am trying to say here.)

I am trained in linguistics and what do I care about this field of nursing? Anyway a lot has been said, done and undone about this issue. But I wish to contribute something based on what I know and based on my experience in this particular area.

I read in the Inquirer an appeal from the Commission on Audit to close sub-standard nursing programs in schools that are not performing well in the board exams which all turns out to be a bored exam. I tend to agree with that admonition and CHED should look into it.

There are a lot of nursing schools whose passing rate is below 75. It was I think Jaime Galvez-Tan who called these schools downright mediocre to trash schools. I am not in any way condemning the schools themselves but if they could not compete along with other schools who are performing well, they deserve to be shut down.

I used to teach in a school in Region 5 and their average passing rate for the past years has been a lousy 28% and it is for them already an accomplishment. Well, looking at other schools with a 3% passing rate, yes, that is already an accomplishment.

The point is, we cannot compromise the standard of education just to be able to produce more nurses. Quality matters over quantity.

Motivations for working

My supervisor recently did a pep talk on us regarding our motivations for working. He noticed that morale in the team is running low and statistics are dipping at an alarming rate and so he had to take some action. He brought us all together in one huddle room and discussed the current trends in our team.

He told us basically how the team is faring as opposed to the other 50 teams in the site. We are in the lower quartile now and that is very embarrassing considering that just last year, we were at the top ten. He said that he was so sad about it and that we should do something to keep our stats up.

He then asked us to think about our motivations for going to work. He did not ask us to voice it out, we just have to think about it and focus on it while we are doing our jobs to keep us in focus. And I thought of several motivations.

First, I need to earn money. I have a lot of plans in life, plans that without the necessary funds would remain a dream and I intend to make these dreams (of getting a Ph.D./MD, having my own business, house, etc) a reality.

Second, I need to prove myself. I have always been looking up at people who are now more successful than I am and I strive to do my best to get to a certain level where I could tell myself with pride and satisfaction that I am successful in my chosen career. That could only be realized with one of the most compelling motivations for me—that of being promoted.

Third, of course is that I want to be promoted before this year ends. Being an agent all your life makes life so uninteresting. Having variety on the other hand, adds spice to both my personal and work life.

I just hope that I can cope with everything and that my motivations will keep me going.